'Fat Boy of Coombe Dingle'

Starring, Alister Baldwin, Andrew Sarjeant, Cameron Fraser, Gudge and Brian Fraser

I starred as The Wimp in this classic second movie blockbuster.  I was dressed in a flowery shirt, my hair was slicked back and I’m wearing National Health specs.  The look was completed with a tight pair of shorts and black shoes. Nice hey? 

The film was shot on location at McBain Memorial Park near Loch Ness.  I am merrily skipping along the road, smelling a pretty flower, when I encounter a gang of reprobates.  The first person (Gudge) is cocking a rifle, the second (Andy) looks at me and spits on the floor in disgust, the third (Cameron) is flashing a blade in the sunshine and the final person (Brian) is sharpening a stick.

Gudge fires a shot in my direction, which stops me in my tracks.  I gather my composure, turn around and start running away down the hill.  However they soon catch me and proceed to beat and kick me, as I lay helpless on the road.  When I realise I’m not dead I stand up and boy was I angry.  I wrench my tie from side to side, and then set off in search of revenge.  The first person I track down is Brian; he puts up little resistance, as I kick him to death. Next I creep up behind Andy and strangle him with my tie.  I find Cameron and stab him with his own knife; his stomach is a mess of cotton wool and ketchup.  Finally I track down Gudge and beat him to death with a stick.  I raise my arms in the air in triumph.

The moral of this story is “Never mess with WIMPS”.